Lately on our travels I’ve become more aware of stores selling antiques. In the past they were just places I passed without much consideration. I was on a quest for the perfect pastry, the sublime work of art. But I’m becoming more doubtful I’ll find that melt-in-the-mouth non-flaking pastry, or be struck by an unanticipated moment of beauty without somebody jumping in and taking a selfie. So now that I’ve become ancient enough to walk into a shop and consider myself part of the collection I’m getting intrigued with the idea of buying old things that don’t fall under the category of art and have no use value. It’s not like attending the Antique Road Show and hoping I can cash in on great-grandma’s porcelain farm animal figurines. No, here we are in Delft cruising the Saturday street market.
At one of the stalls there’s a seller who is actually anticipating I might buy, say, an old cork screw.
Or a gigantic bellows.
What am I going to do? Go in my basement and forge iron? But then I think, the point is enjoying, ahead of time, the absurdity of whoever gets to inherit your junk. It’s all about having the last laugh. So get an item of dubious value that will give the people who outlive you the notion that they might be able to make money off of something that has a 1 per cent chance of being sold, something they feel they can’t get rid of because hope springs eternal and there’s got to be some poor sucker who can’t do without a hundred-year-old faded cigar tin or a taped-up box of dominoes.
Or—wait. A rusty old pair of dueling pistols?
Did I miss something? Is the custom coming back? It’s hard keeping up with the latest YouTube trend. Better to go with the totally useless and buy an old bicycle seat.
The design of the corkscrew was interesting. I have not seen one like that before. I had to ask Claude how it works. Uh oh, cognitive surrender looms. It also said it was a classic French design and “very collectible” so maybe you missed your big chance 😨